


The world wasn't made in just one day

by Bowie



Series: We'll find each other [4]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 10:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8746951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowie/pseuds/Bowie
Summary: Bernd wakes up in Barcelona, in a body that's 3 centimetres too short, and team mates who speak the wrong language.





	1. This is not who I am

**Author's Note:**

> You know that AU where soulmates get "The switch"? well, I wanted to write some Steno, so here we are. I warn you though, I know nothing about Leverkusen, and I know even less about Barcelona, so all of the dynamics are going to be off probably. I have seen there are people who ship Marc-André with Rafinha and I wanted Bernd to be mean to someone. I also have no idea if ter Stegen speaks spanish, but we'll pretend he does, for the sake of this story. Also, everyone speaks english, because i say so (aka makes more sense than them knowing german).
> 
> I have chapter 2 ready, and I'm writing the third one, I'm not sure if there'll be a fourth one. If I manage to write half of the third chapter for tomorrow i'll post the second one, if not i'll post it either on moday or tuesday.

An alarm wakes him up from sleep, he feels like he just went to sleep, he drags a hand out of his bed to turn it off, but his phone is not where it usually is. He lets the alarm sound for another three minutes or so before he gives up and get his head from out of the pillows. He is not on his bed. He is not anywhere he knows. He has a match the next day.

 

When he was five, he was told by his father how he was going to wake up one day in another body, his soulmate's body. No one knows exactly why the switch happens, or when will it happen. All that's known is that the switch is exclusive of soulmates, it last for at least twenty four hours, but it can last longer, normally it happens only once, but there are cases where it happens more times, if it happens a second time, you can be almost certain it'll happen again. Football teams have a protocol, but they are different in each club, some teams won't let footballers play while on the switch, despite some leagues having rules that say they can still play, it always ends up being up to both the coach and the soulmate.

 

When he finally finds the phone, turns off the alarm and stares at the phone background he know he's screwed up. The phone background is a cute brown dog, wouldn't mean much except he has seen said dog before, four years before to be exact, when his football rival, ter Stegen, had made news for finding the dog (Bali, his brain supplies) through facebook after losing him. His phone starts ringing and he is surprised to see his name in there "Leno." Period and all.

 

"We're fucked" He says as soon as he answers the call.

 

"Hello to you too, love how you saved me, by the way" Only then does Bernd remember how Julian had taken his phone and found out he didn't have ter Stagen saved as a contact (Why are you going through the group chat on my phone, Jule? You are in it too, you know) deciding to save him as "Evil twin" and some emoji.

 

"Was Julian" Bernd mutters, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible "How are we going to do this, I have training today, can't miss it, match tomorrow"

 

"Same here" Bernd hears his voice, and it freaks him out just a little "The team needs me, you think you can handle this? Train today, show you're sort of okay?"

 

"Is that a half-assed compliment?" He is not ashamed to admit he smirks.

 

"Just go training today, try not to screw up, pretend you're me" there a pause, a sigh "I'm not even sure what's Lucho policy on this" another pause, he's probably expecting Bernd to say something "It's not like they expect for this to happen between footballers"

 

"What if I slip, what if they realise..."

 

"Most of them know, it's not like I care, I mean-" Another sigh, he feels awkward "I don't care if they know I'm bi"

 

"I'm out" Bernd says "To my team, I mean" He has always known he was going to switch with a guy, one day he decided he had enough, worrying about the switch, he had told everyone at Leverkusen he's gay, started with the coach, then his captain, after that he made his way through his team mates, none of them has any trouble with it, he knows how lucky he is.

 

  
He gets to the Ciutat esportiva Joan Gamper in time for training, having googled it's address. He reads one more time the "How to act like ter Stegen" list the other goalie had sent him, and he goes and tries his best.

 

He survives the locker room thanks to making it just a little bit before training starts, everyone is preoccupied with getting ready for practice, and no one tried to speak to him. They are made to run around the pitch first, or at least that's what he thinks, as everyone speaks spanish or catalan, regardless of which one they are speaking, Bernd doesn't understand a thing. Everything is fine, until one of the Brazilian players starts talking to him, he thinks a little, trying to figure out the boy's name. He know he's not Neymar, as he is currently laughing around some players on the other side of the pitch, after thinking for a while he remembers how the guy is called- Rafinha. The boy is looking at him like he is perfect, like the sun comes out of his ass. This Rafinha has a crush on ter Stegen, and maybe he doesn't like that, maybe he wants to make sure he stays away from Marc-André, but that's just because they are rivals, and his rival's misery is his happiness, it definitely has nothing to do with being soulmates.

 

"¿Pasa algo?" The boy says worried. Bernd snorts.

 

"You actually think you have a chance with him?" He says first in german, and then in english, when he realises Rafinha.

 

"You are his soulmate" The boy sounds so hurt, Bernd can't help but smile. Rafinha takes him by his arm, and he is about to protest when he finds himself put in front of Luis Enrique. "You have to send him home" And at least the boy is still speaking in english, he hates when people speak in languages he can't understand in front of him "This is not Marc" Rafinha frowns, Luis Enrique looks at him carefully "This is his soulmate"

 

"Don't listen to him" Bernd tries but probably the fact that he can't speak spanish gives him away, so instead, he tries a different approach "I am a goalie too, you won't even notice the difference" Luis Enrique doesn't seem convinced "Mats is going to kill him if he can't play tomorrow because of me" Maybe knowing ter Stegen's soulmate is not some stranger will help. "Look, I've known him for years, we've trained together, I know him like no one else here" probably a lie, but he's not going to be killed by ter Stegen "I promise I can play like him"

 

Luis Enrique nods, and goes away, Rafinha looks like he's about to throw a tantrum, his arms crossed, frowning and perhaps pouting. Some players are starting to look into at them curiously.

 

"Look, being shitty to the love of his life won't give you any points with him" The biggest lie he has told, ter Stegen would probably fall in love with him if he knew Rafinha hated Bernd as much as he did "So I recommend you start being nicer to me" Bernd laughs and goes to keep training, knowing every good save he makes, every second he trains, makes a certain brazilian angrier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't spoken in spanish in so long, but i'm almost sure that "¿Pasa algo?" means "Is there something wrong?" so basically Rafinha is asking Marc (Bernd) if he's fine. Correct me if i'm wrong though.


	2. Everything that I believed in drifts away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marc-André is woken up by a dog who is not named Bali, and tries to survive a day in the life of Bernd Leno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave Bernd a puppy! I have no idea why i named him Otto though.  
> There's a lot of texting, it's a mess, tell me if you don't understand what's going on.  
>  (this looked ugly but i fixed it, same with chapter 1)  
> Chapter 3 is not even half written so you'll have to survive with this for now.

He had only fallen in love once, with his previous girlfriend, who was sweet, supporting and loving, she was a romantic, and she had packed her bags and left with him to Barcelona the moment he asked her to, she was perfect, and everything he needed in his life, he was so sure that if there was someone he was made for, someone made for him, it was her. He never thought so much about the switch, or soulmates, but when he did, he was sure she was the one. He was so sure about her, that he started a serious relationship with her, he let himself fall in love.

 

And one day he woke up next to her, and she looked at him like he was a stranger, she asked him who he was. The next day she packed her things and left him. He had fallen in love with someone whose soulmate wasn't him. He promised himself he wouldn't let himself fall for anyone else. He lived a life where certainties were few, one of the only thing he knew for sure was that his ex-girlfriend was his soulmate, but the problem was he wasn't hers. And so, he was sure he was destined to live alone for the rest of his life.

 

He started falling for Rafinha, and he thought, maybe he could give this a shot. But he kept his distance, not wanting to fall for someone who would only break his heart, specially not a team mate, that would complicate everything with the team once the relationship ended. He was not about to start a relationship with someone who could find his soulmate and leave him the next day, not again.

 

He wakes up when Bali starts liking his hand, he tries to fall back to sleep when he remembers Bali is not with him, Bali is supposed to be back in Germany. He opens his eyes to find a tiny puppy, with white hair, definitely not Bali. He looked around, maybe one of the guys was playing a prank on him. But he is not on his room, the window is on the wrong side and his sheets are the wrong colour. When he looks into the mirror he finds a familiar face, which should be a relief, except is the wrong familiar face. It's Bernd fucking Leno.

 

Thankfully Bernd's phone is unlocked with his fingerprint, he looks into the contacts, there is no "ter Stegen" as he had assumed he would be saved as, he looks for Marc, but there is no contact found. He sighs and tries to remember his number, as he starts typing the phone suggest a contact "Evil Twin" followed by the emoji of a guy forming an X with his arms.

 

They agree to go training, and pretend to be each other. He writes a really well thought list of things Bernd will need to know if he's going to pretend to be him. Bernd types for two seconds before he sends something.

  
_dont kill otto_   
_or il kill u_   
_im serious_   
_he needs to be feed before you leave for training_   
_and then before lunch_   
_and again before going to bed_   
_and make sure he always has some water_   
_u stay close to jule all the time_   
_he can know ur u_   
_or not me if u dont want him to kno_   
_hell help u fit in_   
_try not to scre up_

 

He hates Bernd. He changes his contact name, because he can't stand to see himself as "Evil twin" and then takes a deep breath. This is going to be a long day. Bernd is as messy with his things as he is texting, his thing seems to be all over the place, Marc has no idea how he manages to get himself together in time for training. And he arrives ten minutes before practice is supposed to start, just the way he likes to do.

 

"You okay Bernd?" Julian says, he seems surprised "You are here early" he points out like it's supposed to mean something.

 

"Actually" he starts carefully, Jule looks at him right away "I'm not Leno"

 

"Oh" Julian looks unsure of what to say "Do you want me to tell Roger you can't train today?"

 

"No, don't worry Jule, I got this" This seems to catch his attention.

 

"I know you..." he thinks for a while "Are you a goalkeeper too?" Marc thinks of whether or not he should let him know, but apparently he thinks for too long and Julian guesses the answer "I know for a fact you're not Neuer..." he starts "And Rambo never calls him Leno.." And then he realises "Oh. My. God."

 

"Just-"

 

"LAAARS" Julian screams and starts looking for their captain "LARS, guess what" He says like an excited puppy when he finds him "Bernd's soulmate es ter Stegen"

 

"I hate you"

 

"He would say the same thing" Julian says as he pretends to wipe a tear.

 

Lars and Julian make his life hell, mostly Julian, as Lars has to be the responsible captain, but he too makes Marc-André understand why Leno is always so grumpy, is the only way to make up for Julian, who is simply an over-excited puppy, and Lars constant comments, he says them looking so serious and captain-like, but he is basically teasing him and Mats hates everything.

 

When he is finally free from Julian and Lars, he makes himself something to eat, he assumes he can eat anything he wants, as Bernd hadn't said anything about him, but still, he is considerate enough not to eat take-out or something that wouldn't be a part of a professional footballer diet. After he eats - he is disappointed when he finds out Leno's body hates carrots, despite Marc's love for them. He lies on the bed petting Bernd's puppy, Otto, he reminds himself, and decides to text Bernd.

  
(13:04)  
 _Your life sucks._  
(13:05)  
_i kno_  
 _but ehy exactly_  
 _why*_  
(13:07)  
 _Why are you friends with Julian and Lars_  
(13:08)  
 _i ask myself the s ame question evryday_

 

He falls asleep, in the middle of the day, something he never does, and when he wakes up he finds seven texts from Leno.

 

(13:20)  
 _ter Stegen?_  
 _u there?_  
 _i hate ur body_  
 _i cant slee p >:-(_  
 _mke sure to feed otto_  
 _u there_  
 _i forgot to tell you bt that boy rafina might haye u now_

(14:13)  
 _I hate your body, i fell asleep out of nowhere_  
 _What did you do to Raf? I'm going to kill you_

 

Bernd starts typing but stops a few times before the next text comes in.

 

(14:14)  
 _i did nothin_  
 _he jst hates me_  
 _mybe hes just jealos_  
 _tht im ur soulmate_  
 _he shouldnt be_  
(14:16)  
 _So, are we going to talk about the soulmate thing?_

 

Marc decides to ignore the Rafinha thing for now, it's not like he can do anything while he's stuck in the wrong body, in a messy house in Leverkusen, while he cares for a small puppy named Otto, having found out his soulmate is a guy he can barely stand.

 

(14:17)  
 _nope_  
 _lets just pretend thats not a thinf_  
 _u hat e me_  
 _we hate each othr thats how its meant to be_  
(14:18)  
 _I don't hate you_

 

It's true, he is not about to declare his secret love for the other keeper, because there's nothing there, he simply doesn't hate Bernd, he actually respects him in a way, there's a reason they are rivals, they push each other to be better, and while some times their rivalry goes a little bit further than the football pitch, it's not like he spends his free time thinking of ways to mess with Leno.

 

(14:12)  
 _dont get sentimental on me dude_  
 _this change nothig_  
 _we still us_  
(14:13)  
 _We're still soulmates though_  
(14:13)  
 _dont_

 

He tries to speak to Bernd again, but the other goalie seems to have decided to ignore him for the rest of the day, and it's not like he's going to apologise or force a heart-to-heart, they are not close friends, they are just footballers who some times play on the same time, they don't even play together, and they never speak to the other when they are not with the national team.

 

He used to believe in soulmates and destiny, but ever since he woke up that morning and saw Bern Leno looking back at him in the mirror, he stopped believing, there was no way Leno was his soulmate, and he's not the only one who thinks about so.

 

The next day he wakes up back in Barcelona, he plays amazingly, keeps a clean sheet. Rafinha looks at him like a kicked puppy, and the rest of his team mates try to find out who his mysterious soulmate is. He does not check how Bernd's match went, he refuses to text him and he pushes all thoughts of him off his mind, the universe, fate, or whatever, is wrong, Bernd Leno is not his soulmate, he doesn't care what everyone says, the switch is wrong.


	3. It's super easy not to feel that way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet each other for international break, and have another switch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go in a different direction than the original plan i had for this fic, so there will be more than two chapters, I don't think I'll drag it for too long but I have more time to write now and i'll use it. 
> 
> I try to keep the time super vague because i'm terrible with dates and stuff, and also too lazy to find a time where this could fit, so you are free to imagine them in whatever time you wish.
> 
> I am reading all your comments but I will answer when I have the patience (and time) to do so (i explain why on the end notes)

The next time they see each other is awkward. They both get called to the national team. They have a fight on their first day and Jogi looks like he's going to kill them as they get scolded, as if they were children. He is not even sure what they were fighting about, it's not like it matters, he knows what the fight was really about.

 

Manuel is standing next to Jogi, he has his arms crossed, but instead of looking angry like Jogi -he is as angry as their coach, Bernd knows he is- he has a calculating look, like he's trying to figure out what exactly is going on with them. They apologise and Jogi tells them to leave and not fight again "or else". He doesn't need to end the sentence, they both know what he's trying to say.

 

"We both know what the fight was really about" Marc says with his stupid voice, but Bernd is no stupid, he knows what he is doing, he wants Bernd to be the one to be a kid about it, pretend to himself he is the grown up about the ridiculous situation.

 

"Yeah" They start walking in silence, Bernd has no idea what he should say, and Marc clearly wasn't expecting that answer.

 

  
An alarm wakes him up, he doesn't want to go training, but he knows he has to. He is half asleep, barely manages to put himself together. The place is almost full of german players eating before practice, he gets some food and silently sits next to Jule, not even bothering to say good morning, his friend know how much he hates morning and how talking should be as little as possible. He can't help but notice the weird look Julian is giving him.

 

"What?" he lets out, taking a bite of his food, he sometimes wonder why he is friends with such a weird boy.

 

"Nothing" Jule answers he turns around and starts frowning to someone else.

 

As soon as he finishes his breakfast he stands up, ready to leave, that day the goalkeepers will be training on their own for the entire practice, Jogi's orders, he might have some weird reason for it.

 

"No wonder you two are soulmates" Julian says as he is leaving the table behind, he stops for a second, a little bit curious about what the younger one is talking about "You both hate mornings"

 

He leaves without looking at ter Steger, he doesn't want to know what Julian is talking about, doesn't care what he means, his soulmate wants nothing with him, so he will not be paying attention to those stupid things, he doesn't care about the reasons why the world seems to think they're made for each other, he will not fall in love with a soulmate that will never love him back.

 

Maybe he should pay attention to Jule. Bernd is warming up with Neuer, they are the only ones there, both of them having arrived a few minutes earlier than the practice is supposed to start, when ter Stegen walks in. No, he sees _himself_ walk in, he is frowning and looking at him like he's going to kill him.

 

"I hate you so fucking much" his voice sounds weird, and he wonders why his soulmate thinks this is his fault, it's not like he can trigger the switches, and fuck it, they are one of those soulmates, the ones with the constant switches, no team is going to want them now, no one likes having unpredictable soulmates on their team (or as an employee in general). "Why do you look so surprised" this time ter Stegen sound less angry, more calm, at least he doesn't look like he's going to kill him, and Manuel isn't running towards them- he is just slowly approaching them.

 

"I just realised this is not my body" he feels so stupid now, he should've known. "Should we. tell someone?"

 

"Do you think Jogi will kick us out of the team?"

 

"Why would Jogi do that?" Manuel asks after a pause, Bernd hadn't realised he had gotten so close to them. "What did you two do?" Their captain looks disappointed in them, as he doesn't even know what they are talking about. He is inspecting them, as if he expects to find injuries from a fight on them. He feels smaller than he is- smaller than ter Stegen is, and he feels like he needs to prove himself, do anything to make Manu stop looking at them like that.

 

"It's nothing we did" Marc says carefully, looking at Manu, and then looking at Bernd, as if asking something, Bernd decides not to overthink things.

 

"Look, we're soulmates" Bernd looks at himself make the face Julian says he makes when he's uncomfortable, his lips pressing together and going to the left side of his face, his nose doing a funny movement and frowning, he wonders if that means something different when it's not him on his body, makes a mental note to do some research about it, it's been years since he last read about soulmates, he is not updated with the information about them "And this is our second switch" He says after a long pause. Manuel is no longer looking at them disapprovingly, instead he has a soft expression, he looks contemplative.

 

"Is this a denial thing?" Manuel says after being quiet for a while "Or you are one of those special soulmates?"

 

"We don't know" Marc mutters, and it sounds wrong, doesn't fit Bernd's body, which is made for someone as confident as Bernd is, someone who always sounds sure of himself, not someone like Marc, who is clearly embarrassed at the moment.

 

"Do you need to take the day off?" Manuel says slowly, dragging the words, as if he isn't sure whether he should be asking them.

 

"No" The younger goalkeepers reply in unison almost immediately.

 

After practice he goes back to his own room, not caring that maybe he should go to ter Stegen's instead. He needs to be with his things, and it's not like his roommate doesn't know about him and the other goalkeeper. He has been reading about soulmates, specially about those with multiple switches, for around an hour when Jule walks in, he stops at the door looking at him.

 

"Did you guys fuck in here?" He starts to look around the room and it takes Bernd a moment before he realises he is looking for him, because as far as Jule knows, the actual ter Stegen is lying on Bernd's bed.

 

"I'm Bernd" he rolls his eyes "I woke up in this useless body, thought you knew that"

 

"What-Why?"

 

"Why we switched again?" He tries to be patient with the puppy he has for a friend, said puppy nods as he closes the door and goes to sit on his own bed. "We don't know, it might be because of the denial, you know, how we refuse to accept the soulmate thing" He sighs, he really hopes it's not the case, because if it is, the switches won't stop until they embrace the fact that they are destined to be together or some bullshit like that "Or we could be some kind of special soulmates" It was the ideal, in this case they would be able to control the switches and apparently it has other perks, they would be able to do things regular soulmates couldn't. And the best thing is, if they are special soulmates, they could be in denial for the rest of their lives.

 

Julian is silent, Bernd wonders if he's supposed to say something else but he has no time to think about it as his phone buzzes, he has a new text, from ter Stegen of all people.

  
(12:04)  
_What have you done?_  
_You know what? don't answer that_  
_Jogi wants to meet us before lunch_  
(12:05)  
_if someone did somthin its u_  
_do u think manu told him_  
(12:07)  
_He's kicking us out of the team._  
(12:08)  
_no hes not_  
_shut up._

He finds himself standing outside of Jogi's room, a few meters away from it. Bernd approaches Marc and looks at him for a few seconds before going past him and knocking on Jogi's door. If his dreams are going to be taken away because of Marc-André ter Stegen, he's not going to stand around like a coward waiting for it to happen, better make it quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Bernd being grumpy and I love writing him texting. (And Julian Brandt being a puppy)
> 
> Now, an update on my life: I broke my hand (it's not too bad, and i'm not in much pain ) and while it gives me more free time to write (i play two different sports that take a lot of my time, among other thing i won't be doing in a while) it's so damn annoying to write with just one hand, it's my right hand (i'm left handed) so it's not as bad, but writing with only one hand takes a lot of my patience, and it's frustrating considering how inspired i am lately, my mind is planning two chapters ahead of what my hands are writing. That's why I haven't answered any comment, i am too deep into writing fanfics, and my hand can't keep up with me.
> 
> Next chapter: they deal with their feelings.


	4. I won't say (I'm in love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marc-André reflects on his feelings for Bernd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm the worst, I wish I could say the wait was worth, but it probably wasn't. I wanted to publish this before December 20, but stuff happened, so here it is, and i'm sorry. Next chapter is almost done, but i want to write some of chapter six before posting it.

He is fucked.

 

It's been two days since Jogi asked them to meet him. Both of them (though Bernd won't admit to feel the same way as him) were terrified of being kicked out of the team, instead, Jogi had sat them down and frowned.

 

"You idiots know we have counselling for this, right?"

 

And they were made to sit down with some woman and they had to talk about feeling and they were given special things to do together, what they weren't told was if these things were to get them to control the switches or if their goal was to get them to admit their feelings and make up. They were also forced to share a room. Marc hates his life, and he's also fucked.

 

After his girlfriend had her switch and left him he promised himself not to fall in love again, and he tries to hold onto that, because for some stupid reason he is starting to fall for Bernd fucking Leno, and despite what Jogi, Manu and everyone else might say, it is not a good thing. The reason why he promised himself he wouldn't fall in love is because he is not sure he can handle anther heart break, and that little voice in his head tells him that if he falls for the other goalie he will break the heart of a certain Brazilian, who he has hugged as soon as he got back on his body after the first switch, he had hold onto him and swore his soulmate was an asshole and he hated him, Marc had assured him he would never even consider being too good for Rafa. They were just words, nothing had happened between him and Rafinha, but he still knew that if he fell for Bernd, it would break Rafa's heart, and he couldn't do that to him, even if the Brazilian's feelings weren't reciprocated.

 

Maybe he was doomed for the start, maybe the world set him up to heart break. First falling in love with someone who one day found her soulmate and didn't hesitate to leave him right away. Then he finds out his soulmate is Bernd Leno

 

And now, he finds himself looking at Bernd, and wondering how it would be to have a relationship with him, how Leno would be with his soulmate if it wasn't Marc-André, a soulmate who was opposite to him in all the right ways, unlike him. He can't deny the other would make an amazing soulmate (for anyone but Marc, that's it) he is the kind of person who would defend his soulmate from everyone and everything, even when his soulmate didn't need to be defended. Bernd is the kind of person who would make you laugh with his silly texts, and with how clueless he can be sometimes. If Leno were to annoy him with how messy he is, well, Marc is sure he would find the sweetest way to make it up to him, with his stupid smile and almost unintentional charming personality.

 

He sighs, he's been staring at the other goalie a lot lately. Getting out of his bed he walks over the other's bed and lifts the cover at the bottom of the bed, revealing the shoe Bernd was looking for in all the wrong places, he might finally understand why Leno s always late for everything. Maybe he needs a soulmate like Marc, someone who can help him find his things, maybe the universe is not wrong, and they are, after all made for each other. Or maybe Marc-André is making the biggest mistake in his life falling for the wrong guy, soulmate or not.

 

As Bernd leaves, saying a barely audible "thank you" while he looks at the wall next no Marc's face, Marc-André wonders if his life would be easier if he were to give Bernd a chance. He thinks about how much he misses his parents, how they would probably speak to him again if they heard he and Bernd were together. But he doesn't want to apologise to his parents, because he knows he wasn't wrong and there is nothing he should be apologising for. If anything thinking about his parents makes him even more sure that falling for the other goalie is a terrible idea.

 

Even if they were willing to give their soul bond a shot, and tried to have a relationship, it wouldn't work. Marc-André spends most of his time in Barcelona while Leno is in Leverkusen. Long distance relationships are hard, specially if the relationship is new.

 

The rest of the international break, Marc tries to speak to Bernd only the necessary, he avoids the subject of feelings, which greatly annoys their counsellor, who is really curious about things Marc-André doesn't want to talk about, like their experience with soulmates and relationships. He keeps his answers short, he nods sometimes, and he always finds a way to change the subject when the counsellor tries to get him to talk about his feeling for the other goalkeeper.

 

And maybe he looks at the other keeper for longer than necessary, maybe he now holds back not-ironic laughs when the other says or do something funny, maybe he smiles a little when he gets one of those messy texts the other sends, and maybe he's not instantly annoyed when the other is in the room. But hey, he is only human, and maybe he has some feelings he will never admit having.

 

As long as he doesn't say or do anything about the feelings he might have, well, there's no shame in having them.

 

By the time the break is finally over, and he's on a plane back to Barcelona, no one knows about his feelings, he had a close call with Mario, but he managed to distract him with something else. He survived the international break with his heart intact. The first night in Barcelona is hard, he's on an empty apartment, missing the presence of the other goalkeeper, and missing his family. He holds his phone on one hand, tempted to call the only family he has left, he almost does, but decides against it, his brother is probably sleeping and won't pick up. It's a moment of weakness, but he manages to go to sleep without making the call, it's easier that way, his brother won't have a missing call the next morning, and he won't know something is wrong, that way he won't say how he feels out loud, it's better if he doesn't, hearing himself say it would make it real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the end is weak, but i rewrote half of this chapter just before posting it.   
> Next: Julian makes a pros and cons list about ter Stegen


End file.
